Originally written March 8, 2007
On a clear day in Hong Kong all at once you can see the mountains and jungles, oceans and skyscrapers set against the backdrop of a sunset out on the horizon. The picturesque sight of the modern world in contrast with the rural traditional lives of these our native friends. To the north, however, the mainland factories continue to make a charitable contribution to global warming. What starts as a gray blotch in the distant blue sky spreads into a far more ominous sight; dark swirling clouds of smog move south towards our island. Serenity in the sky above disappears behind the wall, and night comes early once again. You recognize the sight of those sickly pale clouds in the distance; you know your time in the sun is coming to an end.
When a hundred of your friends fall deathly silent as you enter the lecture hall, you tend to recognize that as a sign of trouble as well.
They whisper to each other in Chinese as if to keep a secret from. Irony, thy name is. Time stands still. I am Jack’s curiosity. The slight glances, the hushed tones, a secret among us, and once again I was unaware of what it was they were trying to say. The fear of the unknown, a powerful rush as any we have found, and I was lost in the moment. I was the first gweilo many of these kids had ever met. On this particular evening, I would not be the last.
Silence again as the door opens. She walks in with a sense of purpose and grace in her stride. Her hair tossed about in rhythm to the skip in her step. Time lost all purpose as I watch her enter my life. And I knew nothing would ever be the same again.
She walks towards me, our eyes meet…and I cannot help but thinking…
This red haired ivory skinned French chick was not Chinese.
It wasn’t long before I would see her in my Friday night international business transactions course. I used to be the center of attention. One hundred Chinese and the American lawyer working together to solve the world’s problems. One hundred Chinese and the French woman discussing the latest trends in fashion.
She would show up at my clubs in Lan Kwai Fong. The Cavern, Insomnia, Dragoneye. Where the Asians needed an American cowboy to fill their ranks, they also needed a French princess to dance the night away. She had invaded my social network.
She was not a law student. She did not belong with me and my people. She was a tourist of the most familiar variety. And she was going to ruin everything…
And the book says we may be through with the past, but the past ain’t through with us.
Six weeks before. The adventure of settling into Hong Kong required the acquisition of a state issued identity card. I was processed through the registration and inquisition committee twelve hours after landing on the island, but it would take the proper authorities two weeks to issue the card. On that unbearable mid-September Friday afternoon in the jungle, I traveled up north to pick up the first of our many new identities.
You were taking the train from the main campus to the island in the middle afternoon. I was leaving the campus to return to the most populated borough in the world of Mong Kok. We stood next to each on the University station platform. I was alone. You were with Amadine and David. We noticed each other immediately.
We rode the southbound KCR train together, as you and Amadine would speak in French and David would be out of his element. We would steal glances at one another; and something happened during this train ride, something which has happened hundreds of times in our lives everywhere else in this world. A slight smile, showing nothing. The American cowboy and the French jezebel. In some past life, in a situation such as this, I would be expected to say…I suppose these things happen.
I think this is where we came in. I knew this tourist before she spoke a word. The same girl from the train, she had walked into my class and soon became the new darling of school. I am Jack’s complete lack of control. The western hemisphere was far away, and we would become our only connections to a reality left behind.
I would have to introduce her to my people, and in turn, she became one of them. The way of the gun as it always was. I would have to share this life I had created. The gweilo had invaded my support network, and there was nothing I could do about it.
She knew too much all ready. With another tourist around, I could no longer disappear in my deception. Although I could pretend to be anyone I wanted to be, she would see the through the lie. And once again, I couldn’t sleep.
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