Originally written October 3, 2006
Charles Dickens. Every word he wrote had importance; his thoughts were delicately planned and included into his text with great attention paid to its context. The purpose was to inspire an emotion in the reader, to draw a connection between his character’s world and our own lives, events which would remain timeless in the hearts and souls of generations past.
Fatalism was a theme Dickens often repeated in his works. By the end of the confession, few would come out of his tales intact, and if they did, they were damaged to the point that whether living or dead, they were merely a shell of who they once were.
In Great Expectations, Dickens makes a rather purposeful statement that brought out that recognizable emotion from within, to draw a sense of familiarity between our own lives and that of the main character Pip. Dickens writes “In the little world in which children have their existence, whosoever brings them up, there is nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt as injustice. It may be only small injustice that the child can be exposed to; but the child is small, and its world is small, and its rocking-horse stands as many hands high as a big-boned Irish hunter.”
Where no soul is recognizable at the end our story. I just passed the Illinois Bar exam. To my surprise, as of yet, you have not tried to interfere with my application. While you have had years of building your empire, your control on those in our profession … our … profession, in the eyes of the world we fight in, we are, at last, on level ground. I don’t seek approval. I don’t seek retribution. There will be no absolution.
When the Battle of Evermore ends, it will end when I lay my great expectations to rest, and you are the one that burns brighter than a funeral pyre. I may be living on the dark side of the moon, but I’m not dead yet.
Three moments arising out of the same event. I pass the bar exam and nothing will ever be the same. I celebrate on the waterfront of Victoria harbor watching the fireworks light up my new home. I gain one more bargaining chip to play when destroying every shred of credibility of those in my way. I gain a seat at the table, a new shuffle with a new deck, and a chance to put my demons to rest. Three moments, the good, the big bad, and the ugly that lingers with me. My past reminding me of who I will always be, my present existing in a world just outside what anyone could call reality, and my future holding me back, or at least...until that day then.
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