Originally written July 29, 2006
I simply do not agree. Especially when every choice in your life has been based on other people's expectations. I know you're not supposed to have those feelings, the ones you think about at night. What you wish you were and what you cannot be. The choices you've made, the direction your life has gone. The archetype that you have been sentenced to, confined your possibilities to.
You wake up in a different time and in a strange place. Did I see you there, moving towards me without taking a step? Were you meant to find me, or was I looking for you? I was running, running from any doubt one would have, whether I was to be believed, where I was and where I was meant to be.
Close your eyes and find yourself there. The glow when you find yourself alive, the moment of truth. Jay...tell us what you do like about yourself. I like taking my car as fast as the world will carry me, not quite in the right frame of mind, wearing sunglasses at night, playing Achilles’ Last Stand as loud as can it can go. In those moments I'm taking the banks of the expressway as if I'm racing Nascar, holding as tight to the turns as if my car would be torn apart at its seams. I could be inches from death and it does not concern me. You risk everything to have that moment alone, feeling invulnerable, on the edge of your seat running from everything and towards it all. I rise above everything there is, nothing can touch me in this state of consciousness. I'm as close to flying as one can be. The glow is all around me and she is as beautiful as always.
The glow, the world washed over in life, in energy, in what makes you who you are but its that secret place that you are not allowed to reveal.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself. For who you are and what you have done, confess to me here anonymously, and I shall set you free.
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