Originally written November 10, 2005
I couldn't sleep. With insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. I nod off and wake up in strange places and don’t even know how I got there.
Welcome to the transfer to Kansas, hope you survive the experience.
If time flies while you're having fun, the inverse undoubtedly holds true as well. Time slowed. You can live a life in the time it takes for dust hanging on the air to descend. There was no free fall, there was no realigning event. Its where I became a student in every sense of the title, learning new solutions to practical modern living. With no distractions, you can accomplish anything, and the only focus then was on taking care of business. No fear, no distractions, the ability to let that which does matter truly slide. You eventually convince yourself everything is a distraction, and you allow yourself to possess that one single purpose in life to the detriment and ignorance of everything else. An idea of a Jay McLaughlin.
But I couldn't sleep. During the daylight I possessed resolve that would make Gandi a prize fighter. At night though, the mind would play tricks on me. My roommates in D.C. saw me sleepwalking through the dorms. It didn't stop when I came to Kansas. Through the apartment, down the street, into the football stadium. Dreams sometimes feel so real. I wake up today punching walls believing what happened in my dreams was real. But dreams don't come with muddy feet, or cuts from a fence. I can't explain a lot that went on back then, but I know in transition something was lost, and something far more was found.
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