The Inherent Barrier

Originally written June 6, 2006

There comes a time when all things must be put back where we found them. For who I can see visiting this confessional, before we leave this topic, I have the matter of the inherit barrier to resolve.

There was this time when I would debate on the weekends in high school. Because of debate, I got to visit this strange and magical land of the University of Texas campus when I was 16 and a long haired blonde bad ass, where everything and nothing changed for the better. And through circumstances associated with competitive bantering, I came to know a kid from another district around Chicago by the name of Pasha. At one point, I would have considered him my comrade, my brother in arms for what we were. Somehow we got into and out of more trouble than either of us should have been allowed to, and in the end, he was partially to blame for my exodus. I must confess he redeemed himself, but no good deed goes unpunished And that turn around was surprising even to me, as he's been dead to me. Once again tonight, I am released from the burden.

I wash my hands with you for hiding behind your inherent barrier. I don't blame you for how you were, that you check this blog, that you can't own up to it all. Whatever you've been through, I'm sure you can blame them, call them out on making life turn out how it has. We all do that. But it was up to you to right the ship, to get back on track. Whether you have or just kept falling in the same blue eyed traps, at some point you look at the decisions you made. I have caused far more life changing problems for people that have done far less than your indiscretions, so this is my release, and you are absolved for the past. Whatever you've become and wherever you have gone, I simply do not care.