Rebirth and Dissolution: Part I

Originally written November 5, 2005

In climatic conclusion to the story, our anti-hero was locked away in an insane asylum accused of committing horrific murders. Throughout the series he believed he was set up for the crimes committed around the city. The real killer though, who went by the name John Mirra, kept calling him, taunting the central character similarly named John, trying to break his fragile grasp on sanity. As the final scene played out, our John stared in horror as he looked at his own reflection in a pool of water. In that moment, he realized he was actually John Mirror.

Its a silly twist at the end of someone’s over active imagination. But John eventually escaped from the institution and wandered the streets searching for answers. A payphone rang, and against his better judgment he was compelled to answer. The voice on the other end said "This is John Mirra, welcome to the next level" and our man of the moment screamed in a terror that is only reserved for nightmares.

The Smashing Pumpkins performed a song on the Siamese Dream album we remember as “Disarm”. The chorus of the song went something like "The killer in me is the killer in you". I've always taken this line to reflect all of our trespasses being reflected in those that perceive us to have wronged. That we blame others for the wrongs we have committed to justify our actions.

But what happens when we are truly not responsible for what has occurred. That we were only a bystander, unable to fully comprehend or control the actions. My fingerprints may be on the gun but I did not pull that trigger. At some point, we have to realize that during those two years the circuit was broken. American to Kansas, and nothing was the same.