Serenity

Originally written September 2, 2005

If this is your first night, you have to fight.

You're not here to watch. You don't get to sit on the sidelines. This is as real as it gets. And like always, I will carry us kicking and screaming to the pixie dust clouded ending. They like to watch us like a car wreck, with all its little pieces strewn about the street, out of place and far away from where they are supposed to be. If the pieces could talk, if they had feelings, they would want to go home, back to where each of them fit together as part of something greater than what they are now.

For a good time there I was out of mind, somewhere between a functioning paranoid and a toaster. And then all of the sudden, the leprechaun and it's friends disappeared. They stopped visiting, stopped checking in on me at my finer hours of the night.

There are no more frost giants to fight in my ethereal imagination and contrasting reality. I have either found myself adrift in our own creation, or Vahalla isn't quite what it was cracked up to be. On that first night I fought for my life and never did I imagine the red and the black that would come over. You keep coming back to that same time, you come back to fight, and fight I did; for all the demons and big bad fell by the wayside for what I have done. And I kept fighting until I saw all that was red wash over me, until there was nothing left but the pure unbridled rage. I reveled in this feeling. And I fought some more.

Then suddenly, there was no one left to fight. The long journey that I had seemingly just begun again appeared to have reached its conclusion. The Battle of Evermore had been fought and won. And then began a Serenity by the likes we had never experienced before.